So, a while back I told you about my friend who called this my "mommy blog."
For some reason that got under my skin. Not in a bad way.
See, I thought I would never get wrapped up in my kids the way that I am. I thought I would never be that mom who took a photo of her kids every time they turned around and had nothing better to talk about than their poop.
And, here I am, doing it.
And, I've been trying to avoid it. I am going to make a concentrated effort to TRY and talk about other things. All that is why I haven't blogged in a while.
I've hesitated posting much about my faith or other "behind the smiles" things, mostly b/c I have a lot of different people who read my blog. I don't want to offend anyone. BUt by making that choice, I've run out of things to post. So here it is, read it or don't, it's your choice.
Jason is going to Haiti for a week. This is a small drop in a very large bucket toward what needs to be done in that country. But, what I'm praying for is that Jason would come back with a large cup full of water to put in the bucket for what needs to be done in this family. (This is going to seem "mommy", but it's bigger than that, so bear with me).
Our family lacks vision. We are wrapped up in our tiny lives, and not at all looking at how we can affect the world around us.
We wake up, go to work (I have sort of a "real" part time job now), come home, deal with kids, try to spend time with each other, and go to sleep. I am not okay with this anymore. I was trying to say that it's b/c I have little kids. Really? I can't imagine that this is a good excuse to God when I live in America, since everything from changing diapers to eating dinner, is convenient. I need a little perspective. I am praying for and counting on Jason for this.
I don't know what God has for us. But it can't just be this. I HATE that I've forgotten the Katie I used to be, wanting to join the peace corps, wanting to hop on a plane to help refugees, believing that God could really use me as one woman to impact the world for Him. In a lot of different ways. I remember when I married Jason, I told him how excited that I was to join with him to creatively serve the Lord. Um...if struggling to wake up at 6am to do the WiiFit and staying up late to read Harry Potter is "creatively serving the Lord," then I'm doing well.
We are looking at buying a house here. It is taking forever. That's okay, though, because I'm really wanting to do what the Lord wants us to do. Buying a house seems like the responsible thing to do. BUt it's awfully middle-class, American, and tied-down as well. So, Lord, if it's NOT what you want for us, PLEASE don't let it happen. If you have something more or better for us (not in a house, but in LIFE), please close up that door for the time. The desire of my heart, more than a house, is to experience life in you, God.
Another thing I'm struggling with is "conviction." What that means to me right now is having a strong sense of what is right and wrong "for my family." Or "for me, personally." This gets thrown around a lot in church. Not from the pulpit, mostly from the members in small group situations. I've found that I have very little conviction aside from what's in God's word. More on that later. Probably much more.
For now, I'm going to creatively serve the Lord by figuring out why in the heck my kids aren't asleep. And then I'll do my WiiFit, b/c I couldn't do it this morning. Sigh...
