Here's the email, b/c I think I really had a lightbulb go on as I wrote it.
"I am so incredibly blessed and continue to be shocked at how God reveals himself through what seem like tragic, irreparable circumstances. There is a song that says, "you make everything beautiful" and I don't know how applicable the rest of it is, but I keep thinking of this day, and how it's REALLY okay, in fact, as weird as it would sound to the rest of the world, it's a beautiful day. Only because I look back at the last five years and see a journey that God took me on that I wouldn't change, even if it meant getting my dad back. I THINK...but it's good that's not something God asks us to pick! There is another song that says, "How could I know the morning if I knew not midnight?" and that's how I feel. Of course, I've had my tears today, but leaning into the pain is good."
And the text to the song is below.
SUNRISE, by Nichole Nordeman
If I had the chance
To go back again
Take a different road, bear a lighter load
Tell an easy story
I would walk away
With my yesterdays
And I would not trade what is broken for beauty only
Every valley
Every bitter chill
Made me ready to climb back up the hill
And find that . . .
You are sunrise
You are blue skies
How would I know the morning
If I knew not midnight?
You’re my horizon
You’re the light of a new dawn
So thank You, thank You
That after the long night, You are sunrise
There’s a moment when
Faith caves in
There’s a time when every soul is certain God is gone
But every shadow is evidence of sun
And every tomorrow holds out hope for us
For every one of us
You are sunrise
You are blue skies
How would I know the morning
If I knew not midnight?
You’re my horizon
You’re the light of a new dawn
So thank You, thank You
That after the long night, You are sunrise
You alone will shine
You alone can resurrect this heart of mine
You are sunrise
You are blue skies
How would I know the morning
If I knew not midnight?
You’re my horizon
You’re the light of a new dawn
So thank You, thank You
That after the long night, You are sunrise
You are sunrise
And, of course, here's a photo of my daddy. I do miss you and love you, dad, and I am grateful for all the things that you did and sacrificed for me. I'm okay. And I think that you knew I would be.
Also, I know this photo isn't the best, but I really like it b/c that's just what everyday growing up was like-in everyone's house and now in ours. I think there's a pizza box in the background, for sure I see kitty flea spray. And that's his recliner. It was nothing "noteworthy," but that's what makes it special.
