Temper tantrums and the like...

I don't actually know what "the like" is, but it seemed like such a bloggie title!

So, temper tantrums and the like.

We went to the "liblarie" today. I am such a rock star mom that I had books about spring reserved in order to help explain the new season to Maizie. Barf, I know. But that's one of my things I do. Reserve copious amounts of children's books. I'm sure that the librarian hates me.

Anyway, right before we went in, I reviewed "the rules" with Maizie.

"If momma says, 'come here,' Maizie does what?"
"Say, 'okay,' and come right away!"
"And does Maizie go into the library loudly?" (like a circus elephant in a pink tutu with her newly discovered broadway voice)
"No, I go very softly!"

So, in we go.

Maizie goes straight to that wire/bead/wooden thing, the staple of every doctor's office, DOT, and library. I grab three books and wheel Iris over to the dirty reading bench. I heft the 80 pound "reading bear" on the floor and clear a spot for the three of us.

"Okay, Maizie! Come here please. Let's read."
"No thanks, momma. I'm busy right now."
"Oops. Maizie, please come."

NOTE: I expect that "please come" be heeded. Every time. It's simple to follow, it's invaluable b/c I say it every day, it's safe b/c there are times that you don't want your kids far away. So that is the "why."

I knew what doing what I did would cause. I knew it. But I had to do it. Because sometimes mothering is doing the hard thing.

"Maizie, we have to go. You didn't obey, so we cannot stay at the library."

You know what happens next. The good thing is that she did not end up on the floor kicking and screaming. She at least held my hand and threw her tantrum as we were leaving. I'll call it a "walking tantrum."

As we were having the "walking tantrum," my stroller buddy decided that she was furious, too. So now we have a walking tantrum and a rolling tantrum. In the library. If I were to make a top 5 list of places you do not want your kids to throw fits, the library and the doctor's office would top the list. Come to think of it, the DOT would be there, too. All the places that have the bead/wire/wooden things. Hmm...

But the WORST part was the daggers, not from the librarians or retirees (one of whom smiled so kindly at me), but the OTHER MOMS! Moms were glaring at me. Some didn't know where to look, me or the girls. But they had to look. Popping out from bookshelves, looking over the top of computers, stopping in their tracks. Gasp...my child would NEVER do that. Are you abusing her? I'm very concerned about the welfare of that child. There is the future of our country, going down the tubes. Was that stroller bought at a garage sale (maybe this is too, far, but it just FEELS so bad, you know)?

I just wanted to scream! I'm DOING THE RIGHT THING! Despite how horrible everyone is acting, I am not yelling, screaming, hitting, swearing, or firing automatic weapons. In fact, my eyes have tears in them! It is HARD to do the right thing. It is so much easier to give third and fourth and eighteenth chances until your kid doesn't listen to you at all. It is HARD to give up my afternoon at the library, where my girls will be entertained for quite a while and trade it for an afternoon of temper tantrum diffusal in my messy house. Yes, I instigated the tantrum. I knew it would happen, and I dug my heal into it and chose the hard path. You better believe that won't happen again (at the library with Maizie in the next 2-3 months, anyway).

That being said, I need to lighten up on other moms. I've been there before, I was there today. And I'll be there again. I need to think the best. I need to smile or wink or anything. Or mouth, "it's okay." Or even, "Good job. Hang in there. You can win this."

Thank you, God, for loud music in the van on the way home.
And, thank you, God, for (semi) hard lessons not (very) easily forgotten.

I did NOT give it to her...

And I quote:

"Warning: To avoid danger of suffocation, keep this plastic bag away from babies and children. Do not use this bag in cribs, beds, carriages, or playpens."



Thank you God, for knowing my kid was making a hat out of a diaper wrapper even when I did not.

"I walk, I walk!!!"

I'm a stay at home mom.

So my life isn't all that "exciting."

But I do wait around for those special moments. Like first words, first roll-over, first peas...first STEPS.

And, of course, Iris decided to take hers for two ladies, not even blood related, at the YMCA nursery.
Oh, don't worry, someone caught the second and third set of steps on THEIR cellphone camera, so I was able to see those.
Oh Iree...me and you are gonna do this stuff for the rest of our lives, aren't we?

Anyway, by the time I pried other people's 4-year-olds off of me (I work at the Y in the childcare VERY part time for those of you who have no idea) and jogged down to the nursery she looked at me and yelled:

"I WALK, I WALK!"

Worth the seventeen month wait to hear her excitement, I think.

No 11 month old even knows what they are doing. But Iris did. She's been working on it for a while now. Standing up all by herself and clapping so hard her hands almost fall off. Saying "yay!!!" when we hold her hands and walk her around the room. And finally, "I WALK, I WALK!" As if she couldn't even believe it.

Thank you Lord, for almost-missed blessings.

God is never, never here...

Precious.
Explaining a complicated holiday to a preschooler.

Because what in the world is the link between eggs, death, bunnies, chocolate, life and grandma's dog?

Grandma came to visit last week. She let Maizie know (in the middle of Target, of course) that her dog died.
Kind of a big deal.
Later, Maizie cries to me about it.
"Maybe Skyla can come back and be a new dog."
"No, babes. She's with God and eating birthday cake." I have no idea why this is what I always think dogs get to do in Heaven, but I do and so that's what I told Maiz.
"I'll never, never, never see Skyla ever again?"

Flash forward.

Decorations for easter: eggs, more eggs, bunnies, baskets, chicks, more bunnies. Lots of pink and purple and baby animals, every princesses special holiday! How fun and cute!

Flash forward.
Driving to Target at 8pm. Just me and Maizie. Because everything meaningful happens at Target or on the way to Target or can be bought at Target.

"Maiz, I want to tell you a story."
And on to tell about Jesus dying (like Skyla) and being buried in a tomb and a huge rock as big as daddy being pushed in front of it.
"And when the ladies went back in 3 days, Jesus's body wasn't there anymore.
He was gone."

Silence.
Then a sob.
And another sob.

"He wasn't there anymore?"

"Yeah, Maiz, he was dead and then missing."

Sob.
"God is never, never going to come back. He is gone and dead. And never, never have Jesus."

Wait, Katie, wait...

"Always gone, never, never..."

Wait, Katie, wait...

"Oh momma!"

And, now.

"But Maizie. Guess what had happened? Jesus rose from the dead! He wasn't in the tomb because God made him alive again. He was walking around and talked to the ladies. Isn't that exciting, Maizie!"

Laughter. Joy. Bliss!!!
"Oh MOMMA! That's so great! He's just back! And he can help us and be friends with us and help us set up our dishes!"

To think that I've "always" known the end of the story. And that Jesus has always been risen in my mind. To never feel that sorrow that Jesus was dead and missing forever and ever. And the joy that he's come back!

Thanks for that Maizie...

I'm still waiting to be asked if Skyla can come back too. And I still don't know how to even begin to link to the bunny.

3 Things

As a mom, I sometimes feel like I get something figured out that I should share. Most of the time, the idea doesn't actually come from my head, but it needs to be shared b/c I've tried it and it works.
So right now I have 3 things.

1. Blanket Time: At the age of 20 or so months, we started teaching Maizie how to sit "quietly" on a blanket for an extended period of time. It started with 5 minutes. Lots of praise, lots of excitement. Then 10 minutes. By 2, she could sit quietly on a blanket for 30-45 minutes. Now it's a full hour. Of course, she's not just staring into space. I give her "quiet" toys, like magnet sets, books, puzzles, sometimes (though very rarely) legos. And she can do it. It's amazing. I can read, cook, be in or out of the room, clean, whatever-and she's in the same place that I left her. On the blanket. It's seriously vital. If you have a young child, PLEASE implement this. It's especially been great since Maizie doesn't nap anymore. This idea was shared with me by multiple people, so I can take no credit, but it works.

2. Never allow your child to ask for anything in the store. The answer is an automatic "no" and possibly other consequences. THEN, when you do surprise her, with a puzzle or a box of animal cookies...oh, the joy! On both sides. It's amazing, and I'm quite glad I've stood firm on this. Remember: In Target, you are weak. Not only have you already spent too much money, but EVERYONE else there has much better behaved kids than you do. You already know this. Soooo, in order to get your kids to APPEAR to be as courteous as the VonTrap family in aisle 2, you will give in to a temper tantrum. I recall knowing this from a very young age about my parents. So stand firm when it's no big deal.

3. Read-Aloud Bible Stories by Ella K. Lindvall. Worth every penny, if not more. Big pictures, little words, action focused...awesome. Can't say enough.


I would love to hear your "3 Things." They don't have to be life defining or changing, just really good advice/tips/ideas.