Temper tantrums and the like...

I don't actually know what "the like" is, but it seemed like such a bloggie title!

So, temper tantrums and the like.

We went to the "liblarie" today. I am such a rock star mom that I had books about spring reserved in order to help explain the new season to Maizie. Barf, I know. But that's one of my things I do. Reserve copious amounts of children's books. I'm sure that the librarian hates me.

Anyway, right before we went in, I reviewed "the rules" with Maizie.

"If momma says, 'come here,' Maizie does what?"
"Say, 'okay,' and come right away!"
"And does Maizie go into the library loudly?" (like a circus elephant in a pink tutu with her newly discovered broadway voice)
"No, I go very softly!"

So, in we go.

Maizie goes straight to that wire/bead/wooden thing, the staple of every doctor's office, DOT, and library. I grab three books and wheel Iris over to the dirty reading bench. I heft the 80 pound "reading bear" on the floor and clear a spot for the three of us.

"Okay, Maizie! Come here please. Let's read."
"No thanks, momma. I'm busy right now."
"Oops. Maizie, please come."

NOTE: I expect that "please come" be heeded. Every time. It's simple to follow, it's invaluable b/c I say it every day, it's safe b/c there are times that you don't want your kids far away. So that is the "why."

I knew what doing what I did would cause. I knew it. But I had to do it. Because sometimes mothering is doing the hard thing.

"Maizie, we have to go. You didn't obey, so we cannot stay at the library."

You know what happens next. The good thing is that she did not end up on the floor kicking and screaming. She at least held my hand and threw her tantrum as we were leaving. I'll call it a "walking tantrum."

As we were having the "walking tantrum," my stroller buddy decided that she was furious, too. So now we have a walking tantrum and a rolling tantrum. In the library. If I were to make a top 5 list of places you do not want your kids to throw fits, the library and the doctor's office would top the list. Come to think of it, the DOT would be there, too. All the places that have the bead/wire/wooden things. Hmm...

But the WORST part was the daggers, not from the librarians or retirees (one of whom smiled so kindly at me), but the OTHER MOMS! Moms were glaring at me. Some didn't know where to look, me or the girls. But they had to look. Popping out from bookshelves, looking over the top of computers, stopping in their tracks. Gasp...my child would NEVER do that. Are you abusing her? I'm very concerned about the welfare of that child. There is the future of our country, going down the tubes. Was that stroller bought at a garage sale (maybe this is too, far, but it just FEELS so bad, you know)?

I just wanted to scream! I'm DOING THE RIGHT THING! Despite how horrible everyone is acting, I am not yelling, screaming, hitting, swearing, or firing automatic weapons. In fact, my eyes have tears in them! It is HARD to do the right thing. It is so much easier to give third and fourth and eighteenth chances until your kid doesn't listen to you at all. It is HARD to give up my afternoon at the library, where my girls will be entertained for quite a while and trade it for an afternoon of temper tantrum diffusal in my messy house. Yes, I instigated the tantrum. I knew it would happen, and I dug my heal into it and chose the hard path. You better believe that won't happen again (at the library with Maizie in the next 2-3 months, anyway).

That being said, I need to lighten up on other moms. I've been there before, I was there today. And I'll be there again. I need to think the best. I need to smile or wink or anything. Or mouth, "it's okay." Or even, "Good job. Hang in there. You can win this."

Thank you, God, for loud music in the van on the way home.
And, thank you, God, for (semi) hard lessons not (very) easily forgotten.