As a mom, I sometimes feel like I get something figured out that I should share. Most of the time, the idea doesn't actually come from my head, but it needs to be shared b/c I've tried it and it works.
So right now I have 3 things.
1. Blanket Time: At the age of 20 or so months, we started teaching Maizie how to sit "quietly" on a blanket for an extended period of time. It started with 5 minutes. Lots of praise, lots of excitement. Then 10 minutes. By 2, she could sit quietly on a blanket for 30-45 minutes. Now it's a full hour. Of course, she's not just staring into space. I give her "quiet" toys, like magnet sets, books, puzzles, sometimes (though very rarely) legos. And she can do it. It's amazing. I can read, cook, be in or out of the room, clean, whatever-and she's in the same place that I left her. On the blanket. It's seriously vital. If you have a young child, PLEASE implement this. It's especially been great since Maizie doesn't nap anymore. This idea was shared with me by multiple people, so I can take no credit, but it works.
2. Never allow your child to ask for anything in the store. The answer is an automatic "no" and possibly other consequences. THEN, when you do surprise her, with a puzzle or a box of animal cookies...oh, the joy! On both sides. It's amazing, and I'm quite glad I've stood firm on this. Remember: In Target, you are weak. Not only have you already spent too much money, but EVERYONE else there has much better behaved kids than you do. You already know this. Soooo, in order to get your kids to APPEAR to be as courteous as the VonTrap family in aisle 2, you will give in to a temper tantrum. I recall knowing this from a very young age about my parents. So stand firm when it's no big deal.
3. Read-Aloud Bible Stories by Ella K. Lindvall. Worth every penny, if not more. Big pictures, little words, action focused...awesome. Can't say enough.
I would love to hear your "3 Things." They don't have to be life defining or changing, just really good advice/tips/ideas.
3 comments:
I like your three things. They make good sense - and they make me smile to think of you and the kiddos.
Hey, you know that wart you got burned off of you when you were little? Sorry I didn't think it was so much of a big deal - I knew it hurt, but I didn't know much until it happened to me - had to get 2 burned off today! GAAAAAAAH! OMG! THEY HURT!!!!!!
stupid frozen spray stuff!
I just read the store thing again - I do this with my student at school. The other aides hand out gifts and candy and stuff all the time. I don't really hand out anything. I've told him "this is school, not a craft show" and "we are here to work" It works, because he's not fixated on stuff from me. Once you give a small something, sometimes you have to give a bigger thing and a bigger thing - and where do you go if you've already given them toys and scientist kits. Those should be special things, not regular rewards. I don't really give him anything - I find that my words mean more to him and me - I also find that I can surprise him by sharing my muffin with him, or by making his reward about browsing the library - lately, he's been working to get pictures of cats that we cut out from a really really really old withdrawn book put up in his locker. He loves it, he works hard for them, and it doesn't cost a thing. He's more pleased with small things because they mean more, I think. So I agree - I love the say no to everything and then surprise on occasion. It feels great on both sides!
Oh, I remember! I outline consequences up front - teach them up front - so we always have boundaries for what we are doing. Like if the case manager is gone, I usually just say "Look, Ms. K is gone today. So if you are having a bad day, she won't be there to talk to. You'll have to just go see the principal. Ok? Just so you know." It helps. But also never give a consequence you can't enforce, or that you don't have a backup for. I used to send kids directly to the hallway if they were disruptive. But where do they go after that? What if they don't listen? So I build in other consequences. There are many steps to the hallway. There are warnings, and different spots I can have a kid sit if they aren't listening - close to the group, further away as another step, and then I can have them sit in the hall. Usually we never get to the hall - they can stay in class and learn while still having some space to calm down. Sometimes you have to say "too bad, so sad, go to the hallway." But having many steps to the hallway helps, and isn't so sudden that the behavior escalates complelty. But then just know that your "no" always needs to be "no" - don't give into "second chances" or "i was just joking."
So yeah. Probably no brainers to the parents out there - I feel like education professionals spend a ton of time and money to figure out things that parents already know.
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