Brown's Bloggie Spot

If you're not my "facebook" friend...

2009-11-04T14:32:00.004-06:00

You don't know we're expecting another blessing. I'm "due" in late May or early June, I'm going that route so that I don't get all worked up if this one pulls an Iris on me.

Sunrise

2009-10-21T14:36:00.005-05:00

It's been 5 years since I lost my dad to suicide. I was emailing a friend to say "thank you" for a very thoughtful thing that she did, and it got me to thinking. I think that the anniversary of a death is strange, b/c you are remembering a DEATH, not a life. So, while I've had my tears today, I decided to really focus on the anniversary of a journey that God started me on 5 years ago. It's cool to look back and see how He, and ONLY HE, has worked to bring me through this. In a good way. I have seen richer friendships, stronger people, deeper faithfulness, and unending love because of it. From many, many people. Even some gestures today by friends added another layer.

Here's the email, b/c I think I really had a lightbulb go on as I wrote it.

"I am so incredibly blessed and continue to be shocked at how God reveals himself through what seem like tragic, irreparable circumstances. There is a song that says, "you make everything beautiful" and I don't know how applicable the rest of it is, but I keep thinking of this day, and how it's REALLY okay, in fact, as weird as it would sound to the rest of the world, it's a beautiful day. Only because I look back at the last five years and see a journey that God took me on that I wouldn't change, even if it meant getting my dad back. I THINK...but it's good that's not something God asks us to pick! There is another song that says, "How could I know the morning if I knew not midnight?" and that's how I feel. Of course, I've had my tears today, but leaning into the pain is good."

And the text to the song is below.

SUNRISE, by Nichole Nordeman

If I had the chance
To go back again
Take a different road, bear a lighter load
Tell an easy story

I would walk away
With my yesterdays
And I would not trade what is broken for beauty only

Every valley
Every bitter chill
Made me ready to climb back up the hill
And find that . . .

You are sunrise
You are blue skies
How would I know the morning
If I knew not midnight?

You’re my horizon
You’re the light of a new dawn
So thank You, thank You
That after the long night, You are sunrise

There’s a moment when
Faith caves in
There’s a time when every soul is certain God is gone

But every shadow is evidence of sun
And every tomorrow holds out hope for us
For every one of us

You are sunrise
You are blue skies
How would I know the morning
If I knew not midnight?

You’re my horizon
You’re the light of a new dawn
So thank You, thank You
That after the long night, You are sunrise

You alone will shine
You alone can resurrect this heart of mine

You are sunrise
You are blue skies
How would I know the morning
If I knew not midnight?

You’re my horizon
You’re the light of a new dawn
So thank You, thank You
That after the long night, You are sunrise

You are sunrise

And, of course, here's a photo of my daddy. I do miss you and love you, dad, and I am grateful for all the things that you did and sacrificed for me. I'm okay. And I think that you knew I would be.

Also, I know this photo isn't the best, but I really like it b/c that's just what everyday growing up was like-in everyone's house and now in ours. I think there's a pizza box in the background, for sure I see kitty flea spray. And that's his recliner. It was nothing "noteworthy," but that's what makes it special.

IF you read this...

2009-10-10T10:24:00.002-05:00

Hi people,
I don't even know who reads this, but if you do, could you please post a comment so I can add you as an invited reader. I'm thinking about making it private.
Thanks,
Katie

Mud Pies

2009-09-09T20:42:00.002-05:00

To give you an idea of what I'm talking about, here's a picture of a Haitian woman making mud-cookies. These are used by Haitians to fill their bellies. Sometimes they have small amounts of vegetable shortening, margarine, or salt. But, they're still dirt. And they aren't just something that they do once in a while. These are sold as food at market (for about 5 cents each).

Just been thinking.

2009-09-09T20:13:00.002-05:00

So, a while back I told you about my friend who called this my "mommy blog."
For some reason that got under my skin. Not in a bad way.
See, I thought I would never get wrapped up in my kids the way that I am. I thought I would never be that mom who took a photo of her kids every time they turned around and had nothing better to talk about than their poop.
And, here I am, doing it.
And, I've been trying to avoid it. I am going to make a concentrated effort to TRY and talk about other things. All that is why I haven't blogged in a while.
I've hesitated posting much about my faith or other "behind the smiles" things, mostly b/c I have a lot of different people who read my blog. I don't want to offend anyone. BUt by making that choice, I've run out of things to post. So here it is, read it or don't, it's your choice.

Jason is going to Haiti for a week. This is a small drop in a very large bucket toward what needs to be done in that country. But, what I'm praying for is that Jason would come back with a large cup full of water to put in the bucket for what needs to be done in this family. (This is going to seem "mommy", but it's bigger than that, so bear with me).

Our family lacks vision. We are wrapped up in our tiny lives, and not at all looking at how we can affect the world around us.

We wake up, go to work (I have sort of a "real" part time job now), come home, deal with kids, try to spend time with each other, and go to sleep. I am not okay with this anymore. I was trying to say that it's b/c I have little kids. Really? I can't imagine that this is a good excuse to God when I live in America, since everything from changing diapers to eating dinner, is convenient. I need a little perspective. I am praying for and counting on Jason for this.

I don't know what God has for us. But it can't just be this. I HATE that I've forgotten the Katie I used to be, wanting to join the peace corps, wanting to hop on a plane to help refugees, believing that God could really use me as one woman to impact the world for Him. In a lot of different ways. I remember when I married Jason, I told him how excited that I was to join with him to creatively serve the Lord. Um...if struggling to wake up at 6am to do the WiiFit and staying up late to read Harry Potter is "creatively serving the Lord," then I'm doing well.

We are looking at buying a house here. It is taking forever. That's okay, though, because I'm really wanting to do what the Lord wants us to do. Buying a house seems like the responsible thing to do. BUt it's awfully middle-class, American, and tied-down as well. So, Lord, if it's NOT what you want for us, PLEASE don't let it happen. If you have something more or better for us (not in a house, but in LIFE), please close up that door for the time. The desire of my heart, more than a house, is to experience life in you, God.

Another thing I'm struggling with is "conviction." What that means to me right now is having a strong sense of what is right and wrong "for my family." Or "for me, personally." This gets thrown around a lot in church. Not from the pulpit, mostly from the members in small group situations. I've found that I have very little conviction aside from what's in God's word. More on that later. Probably much more.

For now, I'm going to creatively serve the Lord by figuring out why in the heck my kids aren't asleep. And then I'll do my WiiFit, b/c I couldn't do it this morning. Sigh...

When I grow up....

2009-05-25T17:16:00.003-05:00

Maizie: Mom, when I grow up, I wanna be just like you.

Me: Oh, that's sweet. What part?

Maizie: All the parts.

Redrum Thumb

2009-05-16T15:10:00.003-05:00

Jason and Maizie went to Iowa this weekend, leaving Cheeky and me all by ourselves. Since Iris refuses to sleep past 6am, she still (at 18 months) takes 2 very long naps. This leaves me alone, yet housebound.

When Jason was originally planning to leave, I thought of all the chores I must do. I am going to be selling some stuff at a garage sale at the end of the month, and really need to get a jump on that. But then, my mom sent me a gift card to Bachmans (garden center/florist) for my birthday so that I would spend it entirely on myself (grrr...those of you that have limited money know how ANNOYINGLY LOVING this is-can't exactly buy diapers or tylenol at Bachmans). Anyway, without a choice, I decided to spend the day "using" my giftcard.

So Iris and I went to buy the flowers this morning. We bought 5 different things, all different colors. Then we went to JoAnns and bought paint that matched the colors of the plants. I then came home and dug out all my old terra cotta pots and painted them each a different color. They are drying right now, but as soon as they are dry, I will make my pot garden. I have no time for real gardens. The weeds are killer. I DO think that gardens are so cool. I am sure that gardening makes healthy people and a healthy community and world peace and all the like, but I just don't have the time or patience for it. Even if I did, I actually am not a green thumb at all. I'm a redrum thumb. But I CAN keep a pot of flowers looking healthy for a limited period of time.

So, coming soon, photos of Katie's Garden...

Non-mommy

2009-05-12T13:32:00.005-05:00

Today I pruned some lilacs from the alley. They don't actually originate in the city-owned alley, they originate from another person's yard.
So, I loved-languaged the person whose yard they originate from and I did an act of service by pruning them, just a bit.
Oh, you think I stole them?
Can you paint with all the colors of the wind? I mean, aren't they everyone's lilacs?
I think so. God surely doesn't apply commandments to his very own creation. Um...
They are pretty regardless.

On another note, I've been seeing a nutritionist, who has effectually banned me from eating carbs. All of them. For just a little while. We'll see how this goes. This includes grains like whole-wheat couscous, quinoa, brown rice, etc. What may hurt more is that it also includes cookies. Even ones made with whole-wheat flour. But, is ice cream really a carb? I may have found a loophole.

On another note, I'm trying to not write this all about my kids. A good friend called this a "mommy blog" and then proceeded to "throw up in [her] mouth" when she called it that. It's hard, though. I don't have much to write about. You may start to see some really great fiction on here.

On yet another note (I've already got four different notes on here-do, re, mi, and fa!) I may learn to tapdance. I have no idea where or when, but this is a non-mommy thing I can do. I really want to learn to sew, but the only reason is so that I can make pretty dresses for miniature people, which MAY be construed as a mommy thing to do, depending on who those mini-people are. I also want to learn to wield knives like Rachel Ray, but this is VERY close to mommy-ish as well, because we all know mommies need to know how to wield knives to mince scallions and make threats more effective. So, tapdancing it is. I could play my trumpet and tap dance at the same time. That would be amazing.
Anyone giving lessons?

Top 5 things about Sarah

2009-05-01T12:52:00.003-05:00

Yesterday was my sister's 30th birthday. She lives far away right now, it sometimes feels further than it is. I haven't visited her b/c of the small children, and she probably can't get here b/c of jobs or money or time. But she's 30!
I wanted to get this up for her birthday, but I didn't have time to give it proper thought.
Anyway, Sarah and I are pretty different. But she's my sister. So it doesn't matter, really. We've both been through the wood chipper and then been able to somehow reassemble ourselves to be functioning again. Like the door on Monster's Inc. And wasn't it more special b/c someone took the time to put it back together with such love and care?

So here are just a few of my favorite things/memories about Sarah (in no particular order).

1. While I HATE that she spends any money whenever there are holidays, she goes to thrift shops and buys the most random things for gifts. But my girls think they are great. The point is that even though she is adult, she just "gets" little kids. Not just a little bit. Like, a lot.
2. She always says "I love you" first. I can't win on this. And, she's incredibly forgiving of my brattiness.
3. When we were in middle school, my mom and dad hired house painters and didn't tell us when they would start. Sarah and I were home alone, and one of the painters hoisted himself up outside of her window (on the second floor). She freaked out and army crawled into my room stage-whispering, "there's a man outside of my window." It STILL makes me laugh outloud.
4. If I call her in the middle of the night saying "I got one of those feelings, are you okay?" she doesn't say, "You are crazy, leave me alone." She says, "Oh no. Did you call mom and check on her, too?"
5. Her hair. And that she always stayed true to herself and never got her ears pierced.

Temper tantrums and the like...

2009-04-30T16:14:00.003-05:00

I don't actually know what "the like" is, but it seemed like such a bloggie title!

So, temper tantrums and the like.

We went to the "liblarie" today. I am such a rock star mom that I had books about spring reserved in order to help explain the new season to Maizie. Barf, I know. But that's one of my things I do. Reserve copious amounts of children's books. I'm sure that the librarian hates me.

Anyway, right before we went in, I reviewed "the rules" with Maizie.

"If momma says, 'come here,' Maizie does what?"
"Say, 'okay,' and come right away!"
"And does Maizie go into the library loudly?" (like a circus elephant in a pink tutu with her newly discovered broadway voice)
"No, I go very softly!"

So, in we go.

Maizie goes straight to that wire/bead/wooden thing, the staple of every doctor's office, DOT, and library. I grab three books and wheel Iris over to the dirty reading bench. I heft the 80 pound "reading bear" on the floor and clear a spot for the three of us.

"Okay, Maizie! Come here please. Let's read."
"No thanks, momma. I'm busy right now."
"Oops. Maizie, please come."

NOTE: I expect that "please come" be heeded. Every time. It's simple to follow, it's invaluable b/c I say it every day, it's safe b/c there are times that you don't want your kids far away. So that is the "why."

I knew what doing what I did would cause. I knew it. But I had to do it. Because sometimes mothering is doing the hard thing.

"Maizie, we have to go. You didn't obey, so we cannot stay at the library."

You know what happens next. The good thing is that she did not end up on the floor kicking and screaming. She at least held my hand and threw her tantrum as we were leaving. I'll call it a "walking tantrum."

As we were having the "walking tantrum," my stroller buddy decided that she was furious, too. So now we have a walking tantrum and a rolling tantrum. In the library. If I were to make a top 5 list of places you do not want your kids to throw fits, the library and the doctor's office would top the list. Come to think of it, the DOT would be there, too. All the places that have the bead/wire/wooden things. Hmm...

But the WORST part was the daggers, not from the librarians or retirees (one of whom smiled so kindly at me), but the OTHER MOMS! Moms were glaring at me. Some didn't know where to look, me or the girls. But they had to look. Popping out from bookshelves, looking over the top of computers, stopping in their tracks. Gasp...my child would NEVER do that. Are you abusing her? I'm very concerned about the welfare of that child. There is the future of our country, going down the tubes. Was that stroller bought at a garage sale (maybe this is too, far, but it just FEELS so bad, you know)?

I just wanted to scream! I'm DOING THE RIGHT THING! Despite how horrible everyone is acting, I am not yelling, screaming, hitting, swearing, or firing automatic weapons. In fact, my eyes have tears in them! It is HARD to do the right thing. It is so much easier to give third and fourth and eighteenth chances until your kid doesn't listen to you at all. It is HARD to give up my afternoon at the library, where my girls will be entertained for quite a while and trade it for an afternoon of temper tantrum diffusal in my messy house. Yes, I instigated the tantrum. I knew it would happen, and I dug my heal into it and chose the hard path. You better believe that won't happen again (at the library with Maizie in the next 2-3 months, anyway).

That being said, I need to lighten up on other moms. I've been there before, I was there today. And I'll be there again. I need to think the best. I need to smile or wink or anything. Or mouth, "it's okay." Or even, "Good job. Hang in there. You can win this."

Thank you, God, for loud music in the van on the way home.
And, thank you, God, for (semi) hard lessons not (very) easily forgotten.

I did NOT give it to her...

2009-04-14T13:22:00.003-05:00

And I quote:

"Warning: To avoid danger of suffocation, keep this plastic bag away from babies and children. Do not use this bag in cribs, beds, carriages, or playpens."

Thank you God, for knowing my kid was making a hat out of a diaper wrapper even when I did not.

"I walk, I walk!!!"

2009-04-08T19:13:00.002-05:00

I'm a stay at home mom.

So my life isn't all that "exciting."

But I do wait around for those special moments. Like first words, first roll-over, first peas...first STEPS.

And, of course, Iris decided to take hers for two ladies, not even blood related, at the YMCA nursery.
Oh, don't worry, someone caught the second and third set of steps on THEIR cellphone camera, so I was able to see those.
Oh Iree...me and you are gonna do this stuff for the rest of our lives, aren't we?

Anyway, by the time I pried other people's 4-year-olds off of me (I work at the Y in the childcare VERY part time for those of you who have no idea) and jogged down to the nursery she looked at me and yelled:

"I WALK, I WALK!"

Worth the seventeen month wait to hear her excitement, I think.

No 11 month old even knows what they are doing. But Iris did. She's been working on it for a while now. Standing up all by herself and clapping so hard her hands almost fall off. Saying "yay!!!" when we hold her hands and walk her around the room. And finally, "I WALK, I WALK!" As if she couldn't even believe it.

Thank you Lord, for almost-missed blessings.

God is never, never here...

2009-04-05T20:34:00.002-05:00

Precious.
Explaining a complicated holiday to a preschooler.

Because what in the world is the link between eggs, death, bunnies, chocolate, life and grandma's dog?

Grandma came to visit last week. She let Maizie know (in the middle of Target, of course) that her dog died.
Kind of a big deal.
Later, Maizie cries to me about it.
"Maybe Skyla can come back and be a new dog."
"No, babes. She's with God and eating birthday cake." I have no idea why this is what I always think dogs get to do in Heaven, but I do and so that's what I told Maiz.
"I'll never, never, never see Skyla ever again?"

Flash forward.

Decorations for easter: eggs, more eggs, bunnies, baskets, chicks, more bunnies. Lots of pink and purple and baby animals, every princesses special holiday! How fun and cute!

Flash forward.
Driving to Target at 8pm. Just me and Maizie. Because everything meaningful happens at Target or on the way to Target or can be bought at Target.

"Maiz, I want to tell you a story."
And on to tell about Jesus dying (like Skyla) and being buried in a tomb and a huge rock as big as daddy being pushed in front of it.
"And when the ladies went back in 3 days, Jesus's body wasn't there anymore.
He was gone."

Silence.
Then a sob.
And another sob.

"He wasn't there anymore?"

"Yeah, Maiz, he was dead and then missing."

Sob.
"God is never, never going to come back. He is gone and dead. And never, never have Jesus."

Wait, Katie, wait...

"Always gone, never, never..."

Wait, Katie, wait...

"Oh momma!"

And, now.

"But Maizie. Guess what had happened? Jesus rose from the dead! He wasn't in the tomb because God made him alive again. He was walking around and talked to the ladies. Isn't that exciting, Maizie!"

Laughter. Joy. Bliss!!!
"Oh MOMMA! That's so great! He's just back! And he can help us and be friends with us and help us set up our dishes!"

To think that I've "always" known the end of the story. And that Jesus has always been risen in my mind. To never feel that sorrow that Jesus was dead and missing forever and ever. And the joy that he's come back!

Thanks for that Maizie...

I'm still waiting to be asked if Skyla can come back too. And I still don't know how to even begin to link to the bunny.

3 Things

2009-04-01T20:38:00.006-05:00

As a mom, I sometimes feel like I get something figured out that I should share. Most of the time, the idea doesn't actually come from my head, but it needs to be shared b/c I've tried it and it works.
So right now I have 3 things.

1. Blanket Time: At the age of 20 or so months, we started teaching Maizie how to sit "quietly" on a blanket for an extended period of time. It started with 5 minutes. Lots of praise, lots of excitement. Then 10 minutes. By 2, she could sit quietly on a blanket for 30-45 minutes. Now it's a full hour. Of course, she's not just staring into space. I give her "quiet" toys, like magnet sets, books, puzzles, sometimes (though very rarely) legos. And she can do it. It's amazing. I can read, cook, be in or out of the room, clean, whatever-and she's in the same place that I left her. On the blanket. It's seriously vital. If you have a young child, PLEASE implement this. It's especially been great since Maizie doesn't nap anymore. This idea was shared with me by multiple people, so I can take no credit, but it works.

2. Never allow your child to ask for anything in the store. The answer is an automatic "no" and possibly other consequences. THEN, when you do surprise her, with a puzzle or a box of animal cookies...oh, the joy! On both sides. It's amazing, and I'm quite glad I've stood firm on this. Remember: In Target, you are weak. Not only have you already spent too much money, but EVERYONE else there has much better behaved kids than you do. You already know this. Soooo, in order to get your kids to APPEAR to be as courteous as the VonTrap family in aisle 2, you will give in to a temper tantrum. I recall knowing this from a very young age about my parents. So stand firm when it's no big deal.

3. Read-Aloud Bible Stories by Ella K. Lindvall. Worth every penny, if not more. Big pictures, little words, action focused...awesome. Can't say enough.

I would love to hear your "3 Things." They don't have to be life defining or changing, just really good advice/tips/ideas.

What I just did to a chicken and another story...

2009-02-17T15:42:00.004-06:00

I was going to simply blog about this cute thing that Maizie did that I don't want to forget, and was going to do it after I got dinner in the oven.
That was BEFORE I "made" dinner. Essentially, I took a headless chicken body ripped back the skin (don't want to hear that sound too much in my life) and shoved oranges and brown sugar underneath it. I then broke it's legs (accidentally-and again, another sound I don't want to hear) while trying to figure out which way is "up" for cooking. This is nothing compared to the day I stuck a pop can in the, um, cavity of a headless chicken and had it sitting on it in my oven.
Blech. Is it really worth the money saved?

Anyway, two days ago, I was pretty sick. I actually was very nauseous, and was lying on the bathroom floor with a pillow when Maizie Monster comes in. "Momma, are you sick?"
"Yes, I'm gonna throw up." (In 3-year-old world, this is similar to saying, I'm going to get a leg amputated or hold my cheek to a hot oven for 2 minutes).
Maizie cautiously comes close to me, clumsily strokes my hair back out of my face, and says..."Oh pretty one..."
Then, "Poor momma. I can hold you."
She proceeds to sit on my lap and "hold me" very tightly, all the while stroking my hair.
"You want me read you a story?"
"Sure"
"You stay RIGHT there, momma" (like I'm going anywhere).
She darts down the hall like only small children can, those little feet pounding on our wood floor. Boom boom boom boom.
And back. Boom boom boom boom.
She's got a counting board book, and she then sits on the closed toilet all authoritatively (like her Sunday school teacher, I'm guessing).
One Flower.
Two buckles.
Three Ducks.
I just wished I could have captured it forever. Right there, Maizie at her best. Taken all that was sweet and innocent and unabashed and compassionate about the whole situation and squished it into her whole life.
That's my prayer for her, I suppose. Lord, keep that about my three year old. Clean out the stubbornness and selfishness and grumpiness and anger, but leave that please.

Haiti, Parks, and Hibernation

2009-02-02T07:31:00.002-06:00

In no particular order:

Haiti: I am going to a meeting tonight about a trip our church is taking to Haiti. We send food via Kids Against Hunger there. I want to go, not just to the meeting, but to Haiti. It makes no sense for me in this "season" of life, and I know it would be heartbreaking, but I really want to go. I'll let you know when it is decided .

Parks: The temperature reached 30 degrees yesterday, so we went to a park. We weren't the only ones there, either. Maizie was all decked out in her snowsuit and Iris rode in the stroller which did surprisingly well in the slushy, dirty, snow. It felt very Minnesotan. Where else are people doing things like this? Maybe Alaska, I suppose.

Hibernation: I have figured out that I actually need to hibernate. No, really. Every winter, I must put on extra weight and stay in my jammies all day. Is there any purpose to this other than it's too cold and dark for me to deal? No. Same with bears. The problem comes when my kids don't hibernate. See, they actually have learned to anti-hibernate. They get more energy and skinnier.

ho-hum...

Steve, not Joe

2009-01-14T15:15:00.012-06:00

It's cold. And despite all my desires, when the windchill hits 35 below, I will stay home with the girls for the day. A lot of women I know never leave their houses. I have no idea what would possess them to do this. Actually, I do know, and they are good reasons, but not for us. Maybe two days during the week we stay home.

Anyway, during the dark, deep, bear hibernation winter, this all changes. I am required to stay home. Winter one was easy, b/c Maizie napped in the afternoon and so did I. Winter two, same thing. Winter three, tougher-two kids. Lots of t.v. for Maizie, and I kept telling myself it was because I had a new baby and that things would get better in years to come. Never again, I swore, would I pass a winter with television.

Results show: Winter four, not better.

As we speak, my napless 3 year old is watching Blues Clues. She's already watched Curious George (one and a half times), Superwhy, & Sesame Street. This is not good. She is like an addict. The more she watches, the more she wants to watch.

I feel pretty guilty about this.

But, before I am too "judged," let me tell you what else we did today.

We played: restaurant (a LOT), Pat-Pat Rocket, tickle war, dance-a-thon (mommy exercised), and magna doodle.

We had blanket time...this is when Maizie sits on her blanket for about an hour and quietly plays with puzzles, books, dominoes, and magnet sets while I sit on the

couch and read my Bible and other books.

We colored a zillion pictures from Maizie's coloring book with colored pencils, which she seems to be quite good at, but takes forever.

And we read about 100 books-half of them non-fiction (we're learning about birds right now), a science magazine (thanks, grammy!), and three iSpy books.

So....

My question is, those of you moms who rarely leave your houses and don't let your kids watch t.v....

WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?!

I am staring down another month of this, and I can't even begin to fathom coming out a sane person. I am afraid when it's done, I'll be a cross between Mr. Noodle, Steve, and June, and I'm not sure I can handle it. But on the other hand, at least those people can speak (MOST of those people, anyway), have friends (despite the fact that most of them are talking animals), and a fan base.

So maybe the t.v. is better than the alternative of no t.v. and coming out of the winter with a fake smile, wide-blinking eyes, glitter stuck in my hair, and responding to everything like a preschool teacher ("Ohhh....weeelll....oopsies....that blow torch to your sister is probably not a great idea, but what ELSE could you do, sweetie? *blink, blink, blink*").

I'm taking suggestions. Not one time craft ideas, but real life suggestions on what to do with myself and my kids for the rest of the winter. So, I beg, if you've got this under control, please give me the heads up. I feel like I need to take a community ed. class about mothering in a MN winter.

sigh...

And now,

more Blue's Clues.

Cutie, cute, cute

2008-12-28T08:58:00.005-06:00

I really don't have all that much to write about. I just wanted to update the blog so that people don't think I'm dead. Christmas was fine, we had a nice time together. I think that what makes Christmas so special and not-so-special is that it never ends. I'm always excited on the beginning end of the celebrations-Thanksgiving (anymore it's just an early Christmas), the Christmas program (more on that later...maybe), Christmas parties, family, etc. But then, anytime after about December 26th, I just burn out. I'd love to take the tree down, in years past I have, but we have one more round of "holidaying" to do with J's mom. We'll see if I make it that far with the tree. Maybe if my house was big enough that the tree wasn't in my main living space, it would fare better. Alas, it is in my way and will be destroyed shortly.

Here's some photos, though.

"That Mom"

2008-12-03T12:00:00.008-06:00

I just got back from Target, and I realized that I'm one of "those moms" today. Maizie was having a horrible time. I don't know why, she actually woke up really sad today so I should have known it wouldn't be a good day to be out, but I have an agenda, and I do not often stop to think about what my girlies might need. We started out okay, we went to the Y, I left them in good hands for 30 minutes while I exercised. Maizie made a craft and drew with markers. I really like going right at 9:15, because the staff that work at that time are really great.

Anyway, we went to Target, spent a lot of time in the toy aisle, and I even got some stocking stuffers for the girls. I'm still sort of sneaky (or my kids are just too little to know that I'm putting their gifts on the bottom of the cart), but Maizie almost catches on.

Then we went to get the groceries, and Maizie started acting super terrible. She was fussing and crying. Maizie is usually a peach in Target & grocery stores. No joke, I have lucked out. But when she threw the string cheese out of the cart, I should have left. I always said I would leave the cart and go if things like that happen, but I had already gotten so much done! I had so much left to do! How could I leave? I mean, getting the yogurt and MM filled candy canes seemed so important. So she kept crying. I threatened horrible things. Then I took her out of the cart and she scraped her knuckles somehow. Then she started bawling. And I became "that mom."

"You'll be fine. It's just a little scrape. You need to get some self-control. I'm sorry your knuckles are bleeding and that you probably need to go potty and that your breakfast was totally non-nutritious and that you are cramped with a huge coat in a tiny cart and that you can't touch anything here, but I need to finish this all-important shopping trip and I need to get this stuff done so that I don't have to come out later in the cold because I am tired and I am busy and I don't have time for you to have a bad day!"

When is the last time God has done that to me?

"Katie, you need to get it together, because I have

so much to get done and don't have time for your petty little problem. No matter that you're in pain, it's not that much pain compared to all the things that need to happen in the world today, and it's what you deserve anyway. I need to keep the earth in orbit, make sure all the seasons are running properly, deal with famine, save lives, count hairs, and watch sparrows. I don't have time for you to have a bad day."

You get the picture.

Thank you God, that 3 year olds are extremely forgiving. And that Clifford, hot-dogs, a Hello Kitty band-aid, and a brand new (ex-stocking-stuffer) Candyland work wonders to mend a discouraged 3-year-old heart.

The American Girls Store

2008-11-07T07:17:00.003-06:00

The Mall of America is opening a new store VERY soon. IT's the American Girl Store. See here if you have no idea. www.americangirl.com

Anyway, I have been in love with these dolls probably as long as they've existed. Since 1986. I've gotten and poured over the catalogue. I know all of their names and stories. And now the actual store is opening here. I can finally go see all of the dolls, accessories, books, even their beds.

But I'm 27 years old.

So here's what I'm going to do, I think. Someday soon (like in the next 2 years), I am going to book a wedding, I am going to use some of the profits I make to buy two dolls and accessories (over $250-yikes!). I will carefully brush their hair and dress them up. And then, even though it will probably creep my husband out, I will put them on shelves in my room. WAY up high. I can play, I mean DUST them whenever I want. Because they will technically be mine. I may even buy them outfits at those garage sales that say "American Girl Clothes Boutique."

And then, when the girls are big enough, they can play with them.

I get this idea from my mom, who had these little ceramic cats and urns. And I LOVED them. I played with them whenever I could, but I always had to ask. They were teeny tiny, don't ask me why she had them, but I loved to build museums for them with my wooden blocks. It was amazing. And they were so special b/c they were hers and I had to be so careful with them. Once I broke the tail off of the tiniest kitten. The nice thing about my mom is that it wasn't that big of a deal. (Now ask me about the time I got gum on her sandals, and that's another story.)

Now the question is, which two? I've always wanted Kirsten. But Samantha was so much more popular when I was little. However, they are putting her in the vault (similar to the Disney Vault, maybe?) soon, so she will be unavailable. If it was just one doll, Kirsten it would be. But two...they make dolls that look like their owners. So I could get one with "red" hair and blue eyes. And one with gray hair (Iris's hair looks gray for some reason) and blue eyes? I don't know.

I suppose I have a while before I have to make this decision. But I cannot be talked out of it. Don't even try.

My tummy hurts

2008-10-22T20:08:00.003-05:00

Maizie's latest excuse for getting out of bed?

"My tummy hurts...

because of all the sin that's in my heart."

Oh, geez.

Missing someone...

2008-10-21T20:52:00.003-05:00

A Quick Review

2008-10-18T09:32:00.007-05:00

I just posted this link on my "facebook" account, so I thought I'd catch those of you up on my life since UHS and ISU, in case you have missed a few things. My senior year of high school was a tough one for me. I was dealing with bulimia, my dad was living 12 hours away in Texas, I was losing friends as fast as I had made them, and pretty much everything was falling apart. I became a Christian right after the Columbine shootings, and I cried EVERY day in choir after that. I don't know why, but the music was touching my heart.

I spent the summer in Texas, as there was no where else to spend it, and then it was off to ISU for me. My original major was political science, and my plans were to go to law school and eventually run for some sort of office. I don't know which one, but whatever. I studied that for 2 years, and then I "fell in love" with Jason. Jason is loyal like a golden retriever, very smart, and fun. J and I had been friends through our church and campus group, TSC, for all 2 years I was in college, but all of a sudden I realized that I didn't want to spend my life without him. It took him a few more months to be on the same page, but I'm glad I waited. Although I will say to any 21 year old, it is really young to be married.

And then I realized that my "dream job" (what was I thinking? It sounded so Ma Ingalls, I guess!), was to be a stay at home mom. And while I could have stayed in my program and gone on to law school, I decided to get a major in liberal studies and a minor in Spanish and get married instead. I was married the week before my senior year of college.

I finished my degree and we immediately moved up to Minneapolis. And this is where the whirlwind started.

I haven't mentioned yet, but I briefly will, that for everything my dad was, he was also a depressed alcoholic. And I loved, loved, loved him dearly. They moved from Texas to Davenport (a job move directly influenced b/c of his alcohol usage) right as Jason and I moved to Minneapolis.

We were here a year, looking for jobs and working at some silly ones (Jason's major was graphic design), when we got a phone call that my dad had died by suicide.

I want to cut the drama and emotion out of this, simply b/c I wanted this blog to be "light," for my family and such. I will say that healing through this has been horrible, painful, heartbreaking...and also relieving. My children would never know their granddad. I think about that a lot still. Suicide sucks.

Enough said.

A year later (9/2005), we had our 1st baby girl, Maizie. And a bunch of job madness. And then our 2nd little girl, Iris, in November 2007. Before Maizie, I was employed as a financial aid advisor at a technical college. I really loved my job. But I quit to be a stay at home mom, which has been incredibly hard. But, the girls and I have found our cadence. It is incredibly stressful, and I could never tell you what it is exactly that I do all day, but only that my days are very busy. Maizie is spunky, willful, and very smart. Iris (Iree) is solemn, contemplative, and a good eater. I love them both.

Through all of this, I have been able to still work with flowers. In college, I was employed at my FAVORITE job of all time-the Lincoln Center HyVee Floral Department. And now I have a small business and do wedding flowers (when I can) out of my home. It's small time, but it's easy, makes good money (when I do it), and I like it.

And as for me? How have I been since h.s. and college? I've quieted down quite a bit. I don't always look to be the noticed one in the room. I still need some sort of leadership position-whether it's at a baby shower packing the gifts into the bags as their being opened, or at church, leading the Christmas program-but I get stressed if I have nothing to do. I'm politically confused, though I lean right, and VERY right on one issue. I go back and forth on my decision to stay at home with my girls. IT's REALLY hard. I know I'm killing my chance at a great career. Working so much for no money and no formal feedback is draining. I don't care too much about clutter. I'm obsessed with Yankee Candles. I will double space after periods for the rest of my life, no matter what MLA says. I think I'm an introvert. I'm very good with people, I like people, but they simply drain me. I don't believe anymore that hard things won't happen to me. I just have to spike my feet into the ground and fight for what I believe is absolutely "uncompromisable." I put myself last on the families list (sorry, Oprah, there's a time and a place for that). I like my husband. He's not always an "amazing husband," and in many ways he does not amaze me (and he would say that I do not amaze him), but I really like him. And of course I love him. He's for life.

Now for the God pitch. Just a little one. He's carried me through all of this in ways I didn't understand. Things hurt so badly when I don't look at them through HIS eyes, so I always try to do that. He is my best father, an old friend, and an amazing epidural all at the same time.

Happy reading.

Maizie's 3rd Birthday

2008-10-06T22:21:00.009-05:00

Princess Birthday Party

Princess Castle Cake!

Princess Maizie's dream come true, I think.

Princess Parade!

All the little princesses

Castle Cake

2008-10-03T13:19:00.003-05:00

This is what is supposed to happen tomorrow.

Just to remember

2008-10-01T21:23:00.005-05:00

Maizie turned three the other day.

We went to a restaurant of her choosing, Q'Cumbers (which is a buffet kind of a place with a huge salad bar). This place is across the parking lot from "chuck o cheese-es," so I was kind of surprised. I think she thinks that she can't go there without Grammy and Grumpy. Maybe she thinks they live there?

Anyway, after we were totally stuffed from very healthy salad bar and very unhealthy ice cream sundaes, we headed down to Centennial Lake. We took her presents with us (we got her a Little Einstein toothbrush and a Sesame Street puzzle) and let her pick a spot to sit and open them.

Maybe she remembered from another time, but she said "I want that place with the fountain and the water and the seats and the steps." I found it right away. She sort of reminded me of me with that request.

We then opened presents, Grandpa and Nana got her some other stuff and mailed it, and then went to Target where she was allowed to spend a $15 gift card that her long lost great uncle sent. She picked nothing and everything all at the same time, so we finally guided her towards something for her Little People.

As I'm typing I realize that there is no point to this, but I'm not going back nor am I going to make up a point, so feel free to stop reading. I'm going to stop typing.

Maybe the point is that it was just a special moment that I don't want to forget.

Yeah, that's the ticket.

Something really cute, though, is that Maizie told me that she was going to be a pink a purple kitty for Halloween. She also let me know that Iris would be an airplane.

What $1.77 can buy

2008-09-17T14:00:00.011-05:00

A 20 oz. Diet Coke and a foot long "line" of strawberry (ahem...pink) Laffy Taffy.

And we're off. With Iree in the umbrella stroller, Maizie in her pink tennies, and me-trying to figure out how in the world to multi-task pushing the stroller, corralling Maizie, and balancing the purple bouncy ball that we've brought with us.

Obstacle #1: Managing children in a small gas station, with everything displayed at toddler eye-level. For some reason, there is an old pleather covered chair taking up half of the 4 x 5 store, so Maizie has a place to stay. This is where the $1.77 comes in. I pay a grease covered mechanic with coins from a ziplock baggie.

Obstacle #2: The construction on the corner. This has torn up the crosswalk. Crossing Penn Ave. at any time of day is bad, including lunchtime. I have no idea where all these people are going, but they are there nonetheless. So we have to cross in the middle of the street, which is a bit freaky.

Anyway, we keep walking. We're going to "a field." I have no plan, I just know that if I don't get away from baby-food covered walls we might not make it through the day. The field is about 2 blocks away, which means it's a six hour walk, give or take .

So we arrive at our destination, this little playgroundless park that is on the creek. I pull out the purple ball and Maizie starts kicking. We find a bench and eat our "snack." Iris has some, too (of course), and we're sticky and off again. Next stop, a footbridge that goes across the creek. We toss in some leaves on one side and look down the other to watch float away. And we're off as fast as that started. I think I could do that all day, but whatever. Further down the "park" are 4 tennis courts. I can barely see Penn Ave. now, which scares me, because not only do we have to walk all the way back through the park but back home as well. But what else are we going to do?

So Maizie gets her purple ball and bounces it and kicks it all over the tennis courts. I get Iree out of her stroller and she butt scoots around the tennis court, eating rocks and bugs and other natural objects (the original organic, right?). Maizie is singing the same song over and over, a line of it is "A ball is fun for all!" And I'm soaking up the last of the summer, the autumn leaves, and pretending I'm Ma Ingalls with a Diet Coke.

Finally, we head back again, and of course we have to do everything that we did on the way out. So it's back over the footbridge, toss some leaves in, back through the park, listen for birds, count the squirrels, kick the ball, up the hill, and Maizie gets about two feet onto the sidewalk on Penn when she sits down like Lucy my late basset hound used to do. So I pick her up on my right hip, push the stroller with my left hand, weave through the construction, and finally back home.

Two hours later. (If you're a stay at home mom you'll understand how LONG two hours can seem some days, so it's a big deal.)

My point? I liked being a mom today. Because I decided to get out of my stuffy situation, out of myself, and actually go ENJOY my children, the time flew. It was one of those rare days. And no, the dishes are not done. The baby food is STILL on the wall (but I'll probably take care of that soon since Iris hasn't really been eating baby food for a few months...), and the laundry baskets aren't getting any emptier.

My other point? It was in that calmness and simplicity that we found joy. No flashing toys or DVDs. No expensive outing to the children's museum. Not that those things don't have their place at times. But it was each other that brought the peace and joy that I often long for.

That and a nice cold Diet Coke.

The Office

2008-08-29T23:03:00.002-05:00

C'mon...I'm so bored!!!

I miss you Andy Bernard!!!

My Bad

2008-08-28T09:16:00.002-05:00

Have you ever had a problem that you TOTALLY know is your fault?

For example, not teaching your "infant" to sleep through the night? And now she's 10 months old and you're exhausted.

Oh boy...

But at the time it seemed like the right thing to do. Don't let her cry b/c then Maizie will wake up, and a cranky toddler is so much worse than a tired momma. Right?

BUT WE WOULD BE DONE BY NOW!!!

Now, I have a little girl who is too big to sleep in our tiny room, who can't share a room with her sister, and who is sleeping in a pack-and-play in the basement. And who is a REALLY loud and persistent crier.

Ugh.

I must say, however, that she only wakes up once. It's still annoying, though.

But she sure is cute.

One small step for mankind, but one giant step for Maizie

2008-08-12T09:34:00.004-05:00

FINALLY!

After 9 months of being "potty" (pee only) trained-she can even get through the entire night, my big girl has pooped in a toilet. Bittersweetly, I realize that it's because dad got involved. All my cajoling, bribing, disciplining, whatever accomplished nothing. But the day that daddy stepped in and told her that if she pooped in her diaper (at nap time) or in her undies, she would not be allowed to wear a pretty dress and would have to wear pants, she obliges. These threatened pants are not just any pants, mind you. A pair of red shorts and a black t-shirt. You may be thinking, what's the big deal, but this is the girl who wakes up in the morning and says within the first few minutes "I love pink and purple." "I just have to dance." "I need ballet slippers." And who now introduces herself as "Pink Maizie Brown." So, for the time being, pooping in the pot became more important than teaching Maizie that she can't have whatever she wants (currently in the form of clothing). So she held it, held it, held it as long as she could, and FINALLY, on the way home from Sam's Club we hear her crying b/c she couldn't hold it any longer. So we stop at Wendy's and her and I dash in, sit her down, and out it comes. And for all the times I thought she was just being a brat about not going, I realized how wrong I was, because she was SO excited. And with her arms pumping up and down in cheerleader fashion she's exclaiming between giggles....

"It just slide right out!!! I'm so big-cited!!!

I'm SOOOO proud!!

Let's tell Baby Iris! I want my cash register!!

I did it!!!

I'm so big-cited!!! Baby Iris is so big-cited!!

Let's call [Blue's Clues'] Steve!"

(aka Jason)

Now I know it's not over, but at least it's coming along.

I'm just praying that we don't have to drive to Wendy's every time she has to go.

Just another week.

2008-07-25T22:56:00.003-05:00

Oh, the things that I never dreamed of...Last night, Maiz was in the bathtub grunting and, um, farting (I'm sorry if you say "fluff" in your house, but it's my blog, so please deal). We were like, "Do you need to poop? Why don't you sit on the potty?"

NOTE: Maizie is entirely "potty" trained. Yes, potty only. She has yet to go numero dos in the potty. No matter what type of bribing, cajoling, lawyering, or bargaining I do, she refuses. She'll be ten before she does it, I think.

Anyway, she decided to "try," which was more than she's done before. We, of course, didn't think she'd do it until she calls "I did it!!!"

Um, hmmm...

"I pooped and it's in the potty!" "I get my cash register!" (The stakes for pooping are high).

I will say is that it was very large AND in her potty.

Picked up and placed there by her.

Gotta love it.

IN other news, here's what happened at McDonald's today. We (me, my baby bag-it's like another toddler, Iris, and Maizie) are going in the door, and while I'm trying to "herd cats" inside, I open the door right into Maizie's forehead. She is knocked on the floor and is "silent screaming," so I figure I have 10-12 seconds before I'm noticed (when she finally takes a breath and REALLY screams). Of course, people are waiting to get out, and those McDonald's foyers are so huge, not to mention that they could cook their fries in there it's so hot, and we're all on the floor. I somehow manage to get everyone (baby bag

included) inside and to the counter.

"Hi, she just hit her head and I need some ice."

They hand me a cup.

"Um, more like an ice pack."

But, the minute she hears ice pack (by this time my 12 seconds have passed and she's screaming like a banshee), she squirms off the counter and onto the floor and starts running around the McDonald's, flinging herself into retirees booths. It was like a strange game show.

"Owie....OWWWWW...I don't wanna ice pack! AHHHHH!!! OWWW!!!"

And EVERYONE is staring at us. And NO ONE is helping. And if I were to blink I would cry.

Finally, a frail old lady offers to hold fat, grumpy Iris

while I calm Crazy down. And I think, this can't possibly end well. And over the hunched shoulder of the lady (VERY sweet, though), I see a ma

n bring a high chair.

And then a McDonald's employee (female, and I am assuming mother), brings out an ice cream cone. And the nice old lady stayed with them while I ordered.

So it ended okay.

Here's the damages. Check out her forehead.

Maizie...Brown?

2008-07-19T22:35:00.003-05:00

I was explaining to Maizie that she has a long name...that she has a first name, a middle name, and a last name, too.

"Well...whaaat is it?" With those big blue-gray eyes.

"It's Maizie Daniele Brown. Maizie Brown."

Pause

Staring at me.

Brow furrowing.

"No...mom...it isn't. I'm not Maizie Brown."

(I could have predicted what was coming next.)

"I'm just Maizie PINK."

Core Foods

2008-05-22T23:05:00.001-05:00

So I've succumbed to peer pressure and have changed my eating habits. It's funny that peer pressure would cause me to eat vegetables, but people, it's intense.

Anyway, I'm following the Weight Watchers Core program, and if you know what that is, you can gasp in disbelief. If you don't know what it is, I'll sum it up for you. Spinach, oatmeal, hard-boiled eggs, and popcorn. Of course, there's more to it than that. But you get the picture. All "whole" foods, no breads, processed foods or, um, chocolate. I can have whole wheat noodles and as much aspartame as I want. And I'm struggling terribly with envy.

See, my husband is the person that the artist who first drew stick figures was thinking about. The man can eat whatever, and I mean, whatever he wants. He is so supportive, though, and follows the plan with me, mostly. When it gets inconvenient, he gives in to things like Butter Burgers and gummy bears. Not what I would be eating if eating caused no consequences, but whatever.

But I finally think he gets it. He said to me, "I have never had to think about anything that I put into my mouth before, and it totally sucks." I have never thought about not thinking about it. Everything I eat is thought about. Whether it's good thoughts or guilt thoughts. Everything. It's been that way as long as I can remember. And I am so sick of it. I'm so tired of food being a big deal. I would love to just be done with it. I can't help but wonder why I struggle so bad with this!

To paraphrase Dr. Phil (yes, I really like him, so bear with me for a moment), "there has got to be some payoff for the behavior to continue." As destructive as my fat behavior is, I am getting some payoff to continuing to do it after all these years. I could get deeply into this, but know that the bottom line is simple. It feels good.

And isn't that always a payoff? It feels good to do whatever I want, whenever I want, with no regard to how it's hurting others or how it is self-destructive. And especially no regard to God's parameters and HIS view on the issues, I mean, he is invisible and he will forgive me...right?

So, this is why I am eating so much oatmeal and popcorn. Because it matters so much less than me obeying God. How in the world can I expect my daughters to exhibit self control when their mom totally does whatever she wants? It is probably as hard for Maizie to sit on her blanket for thirty minutes as it is for me to say "no thanks" to food that isn't really fueling me. She's two! She has a physical need to be running around like crazy, and yet I'm teaching her that she must be still once in a while. And while I'm manning the timer, I'm chomping on cookies and guzzling Diet Coke like a Pharisee. But please note, the Diet Coke will be the last thing to go, okay?

Much Better

2008-05-11T10:34:00.001-05:00

Last night, after feeling so terrible, I decided to make a change. This is really all it takes most of the time, is for me to do something about my situation and chose to be better. So I got Maizie all dressed in her pink butterfly galoshes, green jammie pants, & purple raincoat, and gave her my purple Disney World parasol. Then I got Iris all bundled up and put her in the carrier, and outside in the rain we went. I took them to the back of the parking lot for the shops (which were mostly closed) next door and she went crazy puddle hopping. It was cold and wet, but finally, we were having fun and not battling about everything. I wish I'd have had my camera, because she was so cute out there soaking wet with my "brella," which was way too big for her. I'll just have to remember it like they did in the old days, I guess. Write it down.

I didn't think I was going to get her inside, but she finally fell down and got soaked, and I said "Maizers, we better go in and get all dried off." And she was like "Yeah, it's okay, we better get all dried off and have a snack." So in we went, to eat popcorn and drink hot, well, warm chocolate. And I finally got my heart aligned in the truth.

Just draggin

2008-05-10T18:22:00.000-05:00

You know that you're having a bad night when you binge on green sprinkles and baby food pears, b/c they are the only thing sweet in your house and you're too tired to load up the kids and trek out in the rain to get some real binge food, like hostess cupcakes or . And even if you were energized enough to do that, you can't imagine spending three dollars b/c frankly, you just can't be throwing that kind of money around. So, there's plenty to be thankful in that.

I'm trying to reflect on the joys of motherhood, but today is one of those days that I can't seem to get my heart caught up into the truth of what God really has blessed me with. I keep looking at the to-dos, and the what-ifs, and the spit-ups. (I've been walking around a pile of baby spit-up that is on the floor for a couple of hours now b/c I just don't want to bend down to pick it up). And the fact that I finally got around to spending ten dollars on a shirt for myself that actually fits my post baby body and day two it has a hole in it that I have to stitch b/c I lost the receipt and can't return it and pretend like I had nothing to do with it when me and the clerk would both know that I did. I know that was a run on sentence, I'm too tired to push shift and try to find the proper punctuation under my grabby baby who is sitting on my lap grabbing everything on the desk.

But she sure is cute, though.

And really, what am I complaining about? I live in the United States and I have so much food that I have cupcake sprinkles in my pantry. And my baby girls are allowed to live and grow up. And I have a computer, of all things, that cost as much as it costs to feed 20 kids for a whole year in Haiti. And my husband is nice to me. And he's addicted to nothing (except Dr. Pepper).

Generosity

2008-03-12T14:26:00.001-05:00

I am feeling thankful for a lady at our church, who has a set of girl twins and gives me one half of their clothes. I have not had to buy one thing for Maizie in the last year b/c of her generosity. I feel like I should buy them from her, some of the clothes have never been worn or worn very little. It is all so very nice, and I am incredibly thankful that she is sharing. On that note, I only take clothes from her and one other gal. The first year of Maizie's life, I had people dumping clothes on me, like I'm a goodwill. And while that is great, I don't want all the really worn out, um, "retro" clothes. But these two women are really great. The other woman is a great friend, and not only has she given me clothes for Maizie, but she's also given me maternity clothes, a cradle, and various other things. I've been given so much for my kids, and then I feel like such a hypocrite, b/c it is hard for me to be that generous. There is a family that is struggling to make ends meet who attends our church. I know I need to give them something, but I can be so darn selfish! And not like, "there is no way that they deserve anything," but more like "I need to spend all my money on our family." There is a toy I REALLY want to buy Maizie, it's $30, (it's a PatPatRocket from Little Einsteins), and this family could really use that money for necessities. And Maizie hasn't even asked for the toy!

We'll see where this goes.

Brownies-YUM!

2008-03-08T21:09:00.001-06:00

I happen to like Brownies. Not the little girl kind, but the chocolaty, gooey, warm, fudgey, three-WW-points-per-serving, YUMMY kind. Other than brownies, the last name "Brown" has nothing cute associated with it. It's pretty standard. Well, I guess there's "Brown vs. board of education," which was an important court case, but did not convey exactly what I wanted the name of my Blog to convey. I think that you could understand this. And I almost named it "sockmonkeyland," just because I like sock monkeys, I think that they're funny, but before I hit "return" I realized I own not a one sock monkey. Not even a miniature sock monkey. So I was stuck trying to spin off of my last name. "Brown." Pretty ho-hum. And Brownies, unless made well, can also be ho-hum.

So, not sure what the point of this Blog is, just wanted to make sure that we were all on the same page. I'm not eating little Girl Scouts, okay?